Story and Review of If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin

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Story Summary (Spoiler-Free)

If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin is a bittersweet coming-of-age novel centered around Autumn Davis and Finny (Phineas Smith), two childhood best friends who have slowly drifted apart as they grew older. Though their mothers remain close, Autumn and Finny have developed separate social circles in high school.

Despite the emotional distance, Autumn quietly holds onto the deep bond they once shared. Throughout the story, she grapples with her feelings of loneliness, first love, mental health struggles, and the confusing emotions that come with growing up. Beneath everything lies an unspoken longing between her and Finny, a "what could have been" that lingers heavily.

The story builds gently, exploring friendship, identity, teenage heartbreak, and grief, culminating in a devastating and emotional climax that leaves a lasting impact.

Trigger warnings include depression, suicidal thoughts, and death.

Review

Writing Style: Laura Nowlin’s writing is simple yet deeply emotional. She captures the vulnerability of adolescence with raw, understated beauty. Her prose often feels like a personal diary, making the emotions feel immediate and real.

Characters:

- Autumn is introspective, artistic, and relatable, especially for readers who have ever felt out of place in high school life.

- Finny is kind, gentle, and everything Autumn loves but cannot openly express.

- Secondary characters like Jamie and Sylvie add more layers to the story, highlighting the different paths young people take while growing up.

Themes: The novel explores friendship versus love, mental health, nostalgia for childhood, feeling like an outsider, and the bittersweet nature of "almost" relationships.

Strengths:

- Honest and realistic portrayal of teenage emotions.

- Beautiful depiction of longing and emotional complexity.

- Deep, slow-burning emotional build-up that feels authentic.

Weaknesses:

- The slow pace might not appeal to readers looking for a fast-moving plot.

- Some readers might find Autumn's internal monologues repetitive.

- The ending is heartbreaking and might feel abrupt to some.

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Overall Verdict

If He Had Been With Me is a tender, heart-wrenching story perfect for readers who appreciate emotional, character-driven novels. It is less about dramatic twists and more about the quiet ache of growing up and missing out on love you never confessed.

Rating: 4.5/5 for readers who love deeply emotional contemporary fiction.  

(But maybe 3/5 for readers who prefer plot-heavy or upbeat stories.)

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